What really matters? Perfection? I know it doesn’t exist. So why do I strive for it so much?
Why is it so easy to tell myself to relax…enjoy…don’t stress…cool the anxiety…stop caring so much what everyone else thinks…just be yourself…but SO hard to actually do? I wish I had a switch sometimes to just turn my brain off, so I could stop over analyzing and worrying. I try to stop and enjoy the moments and I can…but not too long and I am thinking about “what do I need to do for tomorrow?” Or comparing myself/family to others? Why do I always feel like I need to “prove” that I can do something, be different and succeed?
Maybe these are all normal tendencies of just being a woman? A wife? A (new) mother?
I don’t know why I struggle with these, but it is something that I am really trying to work on.
Last weekend after our church service these thoughts have all been weighing alot on me. They are all issues I already knew i struggled with but now I am hoping to cope/deal with them.
For some reason I can’t get a link to the service to work but hopefully this will work.
Why do i waste time and energy chasing things that are not needed. Things that are temporary. Why do I let these have control over my thoughts and even my mood?
Happiness isn’t finding what you don’t have its getting rid of things you don’t need.
Things I’m going to stop doing/get rid of: I want to get rid of excess in my life, whether that be negative influences, material things, or even technology (seriously considering breaking up with facebook, at least temporarily)
Things to start doing: If I start to feel overwhelmed, stressed, or down for any reason I want to read. Read the bible. I’ve never done this. Even if it is just a page or 2 then go back to whatever I was doing. I hope it will make me stop and put things back into perspective. It is so easy to lose sight of “What Really Matters.”
I’m unhappy when I allow myself to let someone or something have power over me that shouldn’t.
What and Who matters?
Do I know who God is or am I allowing someone/something else to be God? Stress? Urgencies? Planning? Peers?
Who am I? I can not be everything to everybody. I was made to be me. I want to figure out what I was designed to do.
Am I allowing myself to be measured by my own or others expectations? I let others expectations, or what I THINK their expectations are, control me. I want to learn what God’s expectations are of me and live by those.
This is a personal post of random jumbled thoughts. My hope is that by me writing this it will help me follow through. It makes it feel more permanent. Do I sound like a crazy person? 😉